Indian Education System

Indian education system is in a mess. Has been, for a while. Has the education system turned us into PIGS?

Recently your columnist read a book named P.I.G.S.! Yes you read it correctly! It’s an abbreviation for the Poor Indian Graduate Student. The story wasn’t very different from many others that adorn bookshelves dedicated to works of Indian authors today. All masala elements of Indian fiction were present – love, lust, one night stands, drugs and insane amounts of liquor, but the content couldn’t compete with the title in the interest stakes. The popularity of these books, which sell like hot cakes, among the Indian readers, tell us a lot about the closet preferences of the youth. Well atleast reading is back in vogue!

Coming back to why the title hits too close for comfort, it brings home the point, with a loud resounding shock, the failure that is the Indian Education System. Apparently our formal education system has rusted to the core and is now, just a formality. We keep learning (read mugging) till graduation and suddenly in the Masters Programs, we’re told to “unlearn”! The subjects that we learn, the methods we practice, the exercises we have had are far from reality. And the problem is, on various levels like SSC, HSC, Graduation, entrance tests, etc. we all are constantly being filtered on the basis of this same old outdated system and suddenly we realize that we are masters in something which is no more applicable to the real world. Why, your dumbfounded brain asks you?  Because some IT geek in Silicon Valley has already made a software (and some other geek has uploaded its free to download cracked version on the internet) which is a blow to our solarplexes. All the opportunity cost of time, money, work, dedication, sacrifices, etc. for something which is now obsolete in the market! Yes we are PIGS!

And then we read the success stories of Steve Jobs, Karshanbhai Patel, Dhirubhai Ambani, etc., the illiterate people who chose to do it the 3 Idiots way, “Not running after success, but running after excellence… Success will follow you no matter what.”
We PIGS get astonished even when we see how some people write success stories out of cottage industry endeavours .Talented hands and clever brains – khakhra (Induben Khakhrawala), ganthiya (Ganthiya Rath), bhajiyas(Raipur bhajiya house), samosas(Geeta samosa centre), et al who are all for the record, under graduates or illiterates, having a nice cozy bungalow and an AC car, living the “middle class dream” in a luxurious way!

Today it’s all about just going with the flow of formal education which is a pre-requisite to being called “normal”. But then you can simultaneously work on your own talents and likings and develop them, as nothing is impossible in this world of possibilities anymore. You just need to have the right skill and opportunities will find you.

Anyways, had enough of hardcore, preachy boring lecture kids?  Time to get back to the same old business of mugging and then vomiting in the exams. Nerd glasses and bookish knowledge might give you a sense of achievement when you are enclosed within the thick four walls of an educational institute. But it’s a whole new ball game outside. Are you ready to face the music?

Men In Today’s World

Rapes, patriarchal ideology, gender-based discrimination, being unfaithful. The XY-Chromosome of the Y-Gen is under a lot of hate. Oh I am gonna be in so much trouble by the end of this article- Today, I am going to try and justify the ‘manly’ side of the society. Don’t get me wrong. I am a feminist… of sorts. I know men can be gits. And most incidents are brought into action at some level when the male ego gets hurt. I just believe that sometimes, the hatred is generalised, blown out of proportion, and making sense or not, thrown at the entire male population.

I was even told to never let a girl pay when you go out, because that is not manly at all.

Now, before you start gritting your teeth and cracking your knuckles to get on a writing spree, calm down. Hear me out first. Let’s start small. I will talk about me. I was brought up by my parents in a very decent way. I was taught to be a gentleman, be the good guy, do the right thing, never hurt a girl or a woman, and to do all the other things that are expected from a “real” man, as most people put it. I was even told to never let a girl pay when you go out, because that is not manly at all. I started following these statements religiously; so religiously that when an aunt from my building took us all kids to an ice-cream party, I tried paying for all of us with the 20 Rupee note that I had in my pocket, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer. That was probably 5-7 years ago. I was a young kid in my teens, and maybe, just maybe my actions were brought on by my developing need to impress girls my age.

You get the idea. I was a sort of good guy. At least, that was the idea then. It used to be drilled into young boys’ minds that when we grow up, we have to be the knight in shining armour (as opposed to torn shorts and sweaty tees) and the bread-earner of the family.

And then it all went KA-BOOM! Women brought on a revolution in such a short period, took the world by a storm, climbed the corporate ladders to the top, did everything right, better than men, faster than men, and without all the male ego of “Kneel down to me, puny humans; I just got the printer working. I am the King! I am the Master! Muhahahahaha!!” (Imagine a guy in gladiator wear for added effect.)

Two things. One, I am not saying that the women revolution is a recent thing. Two, this is not a bad thing. Instead, it is an amazing thing.

Two things. One, I am not saying that the women revolution is a recent thing. Contribution of women towards the progress of this world can never be undermined, and it has been around since the beginning of time. It has just come to the forefront with a blast in recent times. Two, this is not a bad thing. Instead, it is an amazing thing. Frankly, more minds working towards solving of any problems has never been a bad thing. And women have a different way of thinking than men. Sometimes, all a problem needs is just a different perspective to the same thing.

So, there I was. Meeting girls and women, who are independent, earn for themselves, think for themselves, and don’t really need guys to do what they are traditionally asked to do. The minds of men that were hard-wired to be the protectors and providers went into a state of confusion and hyper-drive as they tried to decipher what just happened. The position that men believed they held as the head of the house was suddenly in jeopardy. That is where we, men, made the mistake. Men have a hard time dealing with change. A sudden change is bound to rattle us. And for a change to settle, it needs to be very gradual. So, when women came out with a bang, most men felt threatened, and instead of taking it as a positive change, we starting lashing out in unacceptable ways to reclaim our lost territory.

I would like to talk about the problems and confusion with the ‘acceptable’ manliness. It’s a paradox. It’s goes as “Be a man. But, don’t be so man kinda man.” Be a man who follows his heart, makes a path of his own. But earn enough to support a big family. Fix stuff. If you can’t, you are a sissy. Always be good in bed, and keep women’s orgasms at higher priority. But, no pressure.

Keeping that point aside for a minute, I would like to talk about the problems and confusion with the ‘acceptable’ manliness. It’s a paradox. It’s goes as “Be a man. But, don’t be so man kinda man.” Huh? What’s that supposed to mean? Let me tell you. Men have a very conflicting line to deal with. A man has to be a good father, good husband, care for what a women feels or wants, but shouldn’t care too much about what they think. Men need to be emotionally available, but be emotional and you lose your manliness. Be the alpha male. Or you are not really a man. Be physically strong enough to beat the crap out of someone, but be a peace keeper. Be a man who follows his heart, makes a path of his own. But earn enough to support a big family. Don’t be so stuck with always looking for something to compete with. But win. It’s a man’s world, so you have everything at your disposal; everything is readily available to you. If you still can’t win, you are a loser. Fix stuff. If you can’t, you are a sissy. Always be good in bed, and keep women’s orgasms at higher priority. But, no pressure.

You see what I mean? Men have to fight with women as well as other men to make a stand, and be noticed over a crowd of 7 billion. And it’s a tough spot to be in, especially if you can’t follow either side of the paradox. Oh and did I mention that “Men don’t cry, men don’t complain!”? Really, when women can equal out men at almost anything, there needs to be something exceptional in you for a woman to choose you over someone else. And I tell you, it is an embarrassing situation for an average Joe.

Now, you’d think that with the recent changes where women have become more independent and self-reliant, this extra load would be reduced, since women want to help with finances of the family, be an equal part of the work division and everything, but it does the exact opposite. It puts even more pressure on men to perform because it is still socially inacceptable for you to earn less than your wife. Being the care-taker of the house while the woman goes to work is even worse, and really really really unmanly. The society holds double standards.

Men no longer know what to do. The predefined laws for men have been re-written, and we don’t yet know what the re-written version is. So we act stupidly, randomly, and in any way we can think of, to bring the old structure back.

This is where I bring back the point I left hanging for why men feel threatened and lash out in acceptable ways. Men no longer know what to do. The predefined laws for men have been re-written, and we don’t yet know what the re-written version is. So we act stupidly, randomly, and in any way we can think of, to bring the old structure back.

This in no way justifies what certain men do. Raping, gender discrimination, harassment, and all the other problems that women face are the worst kinds of problems. People need to be aware of the fact that these are not recent problems brought on with the change. They were a problem before, and they still are. So, this is what I am trying to put forward. Not all men are bad. I talked about the problems faced by men during this women revolution, and pitched it against problems faced by women from the male population in general. It just shows challenges faced by both genders.

And this brings me to the main reason why I wrote this article in the first place. Every day I read the newspaper, and I read about someone getting raped, someone getting murdered, some thefts, office harassment, and everything else wrong in the country. And men stand at the epicenter of it all. I can’t help but wonder if this is what we have come down to? Is that what men do now? Sacrilege the sanctity of women?

No, not all men do. There are many, many men who would rather die than hit a lady. There are many men who are not physically strong enough to hit anyone, but would still stand up for injustice. I see them around me. They exist. It is not a fictional statement I made up, to satisfy or justify it to myself. That is precisely why it hurts the most when I hear generalised statements like “Men are dogs.” Or “Men don’t respect women.”

Yes, men have made mistakes. Big ones. And men who do wrong things deserve the worst kinds of punishment. But does it justify generalising and blaming the entire male population of being the same vulgar kind?

Food Obsession

God made man and then gave him all the rights to eat whatever he likes; only the apple tree was subject to exceptions, to terms and conditions. Believe it or not, we are on this earth for and due to this mere food, the apple. It all started with food, and even today the second cry of the baby is for it. “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away!” could be well better phrased as “A good cook keeps the doctor away.” Food is its own master – doesn’t matter if you want the body of a wrestler or just crave the ‘size zero’ tag. It can spice up your life or grill you out. 

We do not perceive food as healthy or unhealthy, when the word “FOOD” pops up, it is the ecstatic untamed feelings that come to one’s mind, the family dinner or the first date or the long chats with friends. For once, you might forget the fat defining your tummy but you will never forget the “Midnight moment,” and hot afternoons with the cold coffee. Sometimes the best way to pass time is to ‘eat’, “I eat not because I am hungry but, because I am getting bored.” That isn’t a thought that only applies to me. Ask yourself, “What do I do when I get a free lecture?”  For most, thoughts like studying in the library and finishing work come much later! The immediate reaction to such a situation is going to our canteen, ‘Jai Bhavani,’ and ordering Chinese or the ‘Vadapav’ watching the butter hit the pan and  letting the aroma attract you like a magnet.

Now let’s put aside the feeling that food can stir up and come to the greedy human brain. The human mind has left nothing alone in terms of catering to our needs – not even food. Vegetables and fruits are known to grow larger by injecting hormones and talks of exposing the food chromosome to UV rays have also been doing the rounds. Little things like changing the Chinese food to cater to our Indian taste are widespread.

Nonetheless, questions like ‘What should we eat?’ and ‘How much we should eat?’ are most common. Well, it all depends on what you believe in.  Your gym instructor prescribes food with low or negligible fat. If you consider religion to be your science, it asks you to eat less than what will satisfy your hunger and avoid wastage of food.

Lord Shiva had recommended bathing thrice and eating once a day and we managed to do the exact opposite. Should we be rectifying our mistake?

The Flock Following

It is quite evident today that to survive in this competitive time, one has to step over another to reach one’s goal, making no distinction between friend and foe. Everyone else is just another player in this cut-throat tournament called ‘Life.’ But, for this, it has also become evident that each needs the help of the other to climb up this ladder.

A serious trend that has been observed among the youth is that which one may term as the “Flock Following.” This is seen right from school levels to choosing the right job. The time when one used to do what one liked has long elapsed. This is the time to see where there’s more money and opportunities to rise to the upper echelons of society. In schools and colleges all around, students choose to follow the few chosen ones to lead them to better colleges and institutions, following them blindly like a flock of sheep. 

Instead of researching and canvassing areas and avenues for their better future, students choose the easy way out, automatically assuming that the “Intelligent ones” know better. It is quite obvious that those who have taken time out to find out which institutions would suit their needs the most have considered only their own priorities and not those of others. Those who blindly deem it clever to follow them, inadvertently find themselves besieged with unforeseen difficulties. I have seen many an example of regret and suffering among those who have chosen the path of the sheep. First they are dazzled by the wonderful institutes and such mapped out and canvassed by the ‘Chosen ones’, but it is only later that they realize their abject folly in blindly following the one who has absolutely no interest in their future whatsoever.

Until about a few years back, there were only a few fields that were considered good fields for studying and career making, viz. Medicine and Engineering. Everyone wanted to enter these sectors and as a result, these fields have been saturated, at least in the Indian sub-continent. Of late, this realization seems to have struck and newer areas of professions have emerged, but even then, the ritual of Flock Following continues. It is inevitable that any and all new fields of study, research or job opportunities will get saturated and squandered by ill-deserving candidates because of this abhorring system, wherein the whole crowd follows the leader, irrespective of whether or not he/she is blind. Due to this, mediocre professionals are created and those really deserving a seat or an internship or a placement don’t get it and are left behind in the dredges.

It is quite apparent that “Flock Following” is here to stay, but it would definitely be in the benefit of society if it remains at a low level – that people realize that what others decide need not be the best for everyone.

Love Your Parents

Deep rooted respect for elders has always been a part of my being, since birth. It’s not just something that had to be inculcated, but which I inherited. Our parents teach us many things in life, half of which, as adamant teenagers, we don’t even bother to pay heed to. To be frank, what made me realise about loving my parents is a Bollywood motion picture. The movie revolved around how a son sent his father out of his own home just because he was ashamed of him. The person was not sent to an old age home, but a place where his childhood friends had bought a home, as they too had gone through similar situations.

The first question that rose to my mind was how could someone be so ruthless? Have people forgotten how their parents took care of them? Have they forgotten the love and affection of their parents? Wasn’t it enough when they were pardoned for every mistake of their lives? To me, a social problem which necessitates a great consideration today is, out-casting parents to old homes. Parents are like weak and helpless babies in their old age. They need to be respected and taken care of, properly.

These days, we hear a lot about the elderly being sent to old age houses. During my recent visit to a few old age homes, I saw that people there were neither poor nor were they devoid of some kind of family. The main cause for them being there was their sons and daughters, who did not have ample amount of money or money to spend; some of them were there, because their children were humiliated if their parents were around their acquaintances; but, the most sickening reason was – because the parents were not compatible with their life partners. Every human, be it a child or a haggard soul, all crave for love and care. There were some people whose children never even looked back after leaving them, while others shared their grief of being put in a forced state of captivity, where all they could dream of was a quantum of solace, happiness – when their soul would become free of their bodies and escape the torture of loneliness. Although, there were a few who came by their own will and stayed happily.  A large group of them also complained about the services provided at the homes and how ill-treated there they were.

Seeing all that, happening right in front of me, I actually feel that old age homes should be open to only those people, who have no support from anywhere. The literal meaning of old age home suggests, a place for the elderly, who cannot take care of themselves after a certain age as they need extra care and attention. It positively does not mean that you send your parents away, just because you cannot or do not want to take care of them. Old age is the age when people retire from their jobs in hopes to spend leisure time with their children and grandchildren. But all they get is their packed bags, lonely walls and strangers to start their life all over again.

To reduce this societal concern, we first need to understand their basic insight into the modern age thinking and more so, the psychology behind it. If we, as children, understand them and get an idea about their requirements, a lot can be solved within the four walls of our own home. Taking care of parents is not a herculean task. It just needs a wee bit of extra effort.

Apart from that, taking help from the government to frame mandatory rules, about whether or not aged parents should be forced to live in old age homes, is called for. We have United Nations Principles for Older Persons, adopted in 1991, and similarly, many more conventions and treaties, which provide guidelines with regard to older people, their right to autonomy, care, etc. These conventions also bolster nations to adopt the guidelines given in their national programmes, but the depressing element is that most countries are still unaware. Thus there is a need for laws that could answer questions like – Who can enter old age homes? What vital facilities are to be provided there?

Community organizations, with the backing of the government and the private sector, should be set up to help the elderly to sort out the differences they have with their children. Various educational campaigns should be conducted for awareness among children, that nothing is more important and valuable than parents, so that they learn to respect them right from their childhood. Documentary films should be made and released nationwide to spread awareness.

From the viewpoint of inflation, to be realistic, and to deal with present day competitions, myriad subsidies should be provided to those families who take care of their parents. This will definitely lend a hand to avoid this problem.

All this in writing looks straightforward, but, it’s a humongous task to accomplish. The biggest challenge for implementing all these solutions is exorbitant man power and financial resources. Opening an old age home which gives all the facilities that a person gets in one’s home can seize a little time. Providing food, good environment and other facilities, all under one roof to thousands of old people is not a one day task. It requires long-term planning and management. Similarly, framing laws and legislations can relatively take time. In the meantime, old age homes should not be banned as we require old age homes to support helpless elderly people.

Last, but not least, take some time to speak to your parents. Let them open up to you and tell them that you do care for them, because, after all, it’s not just about duties, it’s all about loving your parents someone who loved you when you were nothing.

Freedom Is Within You

Freedom – the word itself ignites a spark. Several songs, poems, books (ranging from the Bhagwad Gita and the Bible to 21st century’s books by ultra-modern writers), tweets, updates, forwards (aahh!) are all dedicated to and inspired by this seven letter word . Freedom is an ancient quest, isn’t it? Buddha wanted freedom from sorrow and pain. Bill Gates didn’t go mad after handing over his wealth for charity because he wanted freedom that his wealth couldn’t afford.

We may find freedom anywhere – with a person (friend, spouse, best friend etc.), in a closed or open place (terrace or ram), or on some social networking site, or by indulging in various activities (shopping or chatting), with a thing (teddy or pillow), may be in a dream, a wish, in passion, or in fantasizing or just sleeping can even set you free!

But no, freedom is right within us and all around us. All that is mentioned above is just a materialistic image of our definition of freedom. But real freedom is when we set ourselves free – free from our ego, principles, calculations, judgments and impressions. It is not only the branded merchandise that we wear or wish to wear that have price tags, somewhere inside us, we have these pre-defined tags too. We always want to be like someone else, be somewhere else, with specific people and what more – we also want the situations to be as per our convenience and in our favor! And then our conscience finally gets tired at some point in the rut of getting satisfaction and happiness. For the few moments that we can realize we are NOTHING and NO ONE, we become free. Forgetting about all the titles that we wear and tags that we owe is freedom. Consciousness and self-awareness mean freedom. If this article brought you closer to the present – it’s freedom.

Keeping the crown of “ME” aside, letting down the accessory called “attitude” and swimming through the pool of questions and explanations to reach the other end is freedom. So to all the dudes and divas reading this just take a long breath right now (first time not for tasting a fragrance of a perfume!) and give a wonderful smile to yourself as if you had crush on the person you see in the mirror!

The Metrosexual Man

What would life be without the silent mental dialogue? In the mall you hunt down the men’s section looking for the perfect shirt for that perfect date tonight! “Ah this is the one!” but you can’t say it loud because the color you choose is pink! Before you pick it up, you hear your friend’s voice in your head, his tone incredulous! “Dude you want me to find you a guy?” You flush like a girl and start a mini world war inside your head. “Will I look gay in that shirt? But I am straight, right? “But then she doesn’t know that”! “What if she thinks I am gay?” –Silence—

It’s a common misconception that if a man wears “happy” colors, loves shopping, self-pampering and grooming and is very concerned about his looks, then he is homosexual! Well he may or may not be. Actually, he is the Metrosexual Man! This term was coined in 1994 by Mark Simpson who says: `The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis — because that’s where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially be straight, bisexual, or gay, but this is utterly immaterial.’

SRK endorses fairness creams for men, and Virat Kohli is known for his penchant for facials. Siddhartha Mallya and Ranbir Kapoor share more than the memories of a certain damsel in common.

Take for instance David Beckham, the ultimate macho man who has sported countless, sometimes -feminine hairstyles over the years and set a million hearts soaring, gender irrespective! SRK endorses fairness creams for men, and Virat Kohli is known for his penchant for facials. Siddhartha Mallya and Ranbir Kapoor share more than the memories of a certain damsel in common. These fair-skinned boyish men are very much in touch with their ‘yin’ sides. Our favourite superheroes seem pretty comfortable in tight, body hugging colorful latex and underwear worn over outerwear, don’t they?! Not to mention, well known designers like Jean Paul Gaultier have designed skirts for men.

Closer to home, our very Indian men may not be very receptive to the more extreme ideas but are now sporting multiple piercing, tattoos without dragons, barbed wires or anything too blatantly manly, colourful spectacle frames, pink clothes, shapely eyebrows, straightened hair and junk jewellery. Metrosexual much?

Is dressing to the nines and a manicure-pedicure appointment every fortnight the only things that define a metrosexual man? Men are taught to be men in India even before they are out of their diapers! After all ‘big boys don’t cry’. But what if men have a softer side and could like flowers ‘n’ chocolates, and read Mills and Boons? Can’t they sniffle into a tissue at the movies? What if they actually like Valentine’s Day, contrary to popular belief that men only celebrate for the sake of their women!

Men today love to cook, take care of the kids and some also opt to be stay-at-home fathers. Maybe next time when we see someone filing his nails, we can stop that frown from lining our face! Moreover, a person’s sexual preference doesn’t a man make! Being homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual is just a choice; it doesn’t dictate who you are. So go ahead, pick that pink shirt off the rack like you always wanted to. Wear it. Flaunt it. Be happy to meet the real you! With the right attitude, pink can be manly to a la Saif Ali Khan in Kal Ho Na Ho! You may not be tall, dark and handsome, but you sure as hell can be the ultimate metrosexual man – female toe-curling manly, right down to your marrow!