Deep rooted respect for elders has always been a part of my being, since birth. It’s not just something that had to be inculcated, but which I inherited. Our parents teach us many things in life, half of which, as adamant teenagers, we don’t even bother to pay heed to. To be frank, what made me realise about loving my parents is a Bollywood motion picture. The movie revolved around how a son sent his father out of his own home just because he was ashamed of him. The person was not sent to an old age home, but a place where his childhood friends had bought a home, as they too had gone through similar situations.
The first question that rose to my mind was how could someone be so ruthless? Have people forgotten how their parents took care of them? Have they forgotten the love and affection of their parents? Wasn’t it enough when they were pardoned for every mistake of their lives? To me, a social problem which necessitates a great consideration today is, out-casting parents to old homes. Parents are like weak and helpless babies in their old age. They need to be respected and taken care of, properly.
These days, we hear a lot about the elderly being sent to old age houses. During my recent visit to a few old age homes, I saw that people there were neither poor nor were they devoid of some kind of family. The main cause for them being there was their sons and daughters, who did not have ample amount of money or money to spend; some of them were there, because their children were humiliated if their parents were around their acquaintances; but, the most sickening reason was – because the parents were not compatible with their life partners. Every human, be it a child or a haggard soul, all crave for love and care. There were some people whose children never even looked back after leaving them, while others shared their grief of being put in a forced state of captivity, where all they could dream of was a quantum of solace, happiness – when their soul would become free of their bodies and escape the torture of loneliness. Although, there were a few who came by their own will and stayed happily. A large group of them also complained about the services provided at the homes and how ill-treated there they were.
Seeing all that, happening right in front of me, I actually feel that old age homes should be open to only those people, who have no support from anywhere. The literal meaning of old age home suggests, a place for the elderly, who cannot take care of themselves after a certain age as they need extra care and attention. It positively does not mean that you send your parents away, just because you cannot or do not want to take care of them. Old age is the age when people retire from their jobs in hopes to spend leisure time with their children and grandchildren. But all they get is their packed bags, lonely walls and strangers to start their life all over again.
To reduce this societal concern, we first need to understand their basic insight into the modern age thinking and more so, the psychology behind it. If we, as children, understand them and get an idea about their requirements, a lot can be solved within the four walls of our own home. Taking care of parents is not a herculean task. It just needs a wee bit of extra effort.
Apart from that, taking help from the government to frame mandatory rules, about whether or not aged parents should be forced to live in old age homes, is called for. We have United Nations Principles for Older Persons, adopted in 1991, and similarly, many more conventions and treaties, which provide guidelines with regard to older people, their right to autonomy, care, etc. These conventions also bolster nations to adopt the guidelines given in their national programmes, but the depressing element is that most countries are still unaware. Thus there is a need for laws that could answer questions like – Who can enter old age homes? What vital facilities are to be provided there?
Community organizations, with the backing of the government and the private sector, should be set up to help the elderly to sort out the differences they have with their children. Various educational campaigns should be conducted for awareness among children, that nothing is more important and valuable than parents, so that they learn to respect them right from their childhood. Documentary films should be made and released nationwide to spread awareness.
From the viewpoint of inflation, to be realistic, and to deal with present day competitions, myriad subsidies should be provided to those families who take care of their parents. This will definitely lend a hand to avoid this problem.
All this in writing looks straightforward, but, it’s a humongous task to accomplish. The biggest challenge for implementing all these solutions is exorbitant man power and financial resources. Opening an old age home which gives all the facilities that a person gets in one’s home can seize a little time. Providing food, good environment and other facilities, all under one roof to thousands of old people is not a one day task. It requires long-term planning and management. Similarly, framing laws and legislations can relatively take time. In the meantime, old age homes should not be banned as we require old age homes to support helpless elderly people.
Last, but not least, take some time to speak to your parents. Let them open up to you and tell them that you do care for them, because, after all, it’s not just about duties, it’s all about loving your parents someone who loved you when you were nothing.
